Can You Feign Confidence?
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” — Helen Keller
To develop amazing confidence in all aspects of life, try to relinquish the need for control and allow life to lead you where it needs to. After all, confidence is a state of mind where your attitudes and beliefs correspond with your actions. It appears in many forms, and you can easily recognise it in someone’s body language and verbal cues. Sometimes, life impairs your confidence, especially during difficult times. Perhaps you have faced hardships which may affect parts of your present life? How do you respond? Do you retreat and let the experience get you down? Or do you find ways to get your confidence back and try again?
Here’s the thing: you cannot feign confidence. Perhaps for the short-term. But over the long-term, confidence must originate from within and be accompanied by a desire for self-improvement. To develop confidence, take massive action frequently. It is no use sitting back hoping for things to change while doing little about it. Action creates momentum and reinforces your self-belief that contributes to lasting confidence.
Many believe a confident leader is an extrovert, one who is self-important, although this is usually not the case. Confident people have a high emotional intelligence (EQ) and are empathic, compassionate and modest. This flies in the face of what narcissists consider confident; one who is self-involved and regards their personal achievements over others. Therefore, it is sensible to cultivate a compassionate side and nurture it if you wish to gain confidence in life.
The Power Of Positive Self Talk
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
To put it another way: your inner talk should reflect a success mindset because you are your own motivator and leader. It is vital to approach it with the right frame of mind, rather than exercising military-style motivation, which only works temporarily. This explains why setbacks and disappointments are inevitable in life. Therefore, don’t allow frustrations to impact your confidence, but accept them as feedback. Successful people have overcome innumerable obstacles and prevail because they do not get caught up in their failures. They use it as a springboard toward future success and so can you.
It is why I urge you to become familiar with your internal dialogue. Look for possibilities within your failures, and I assure you there is something to be gained even in the direst conditions. Successful people see opportunity in the bleakest conditions and take advantage of it, leaving no time to contemplate what might have been. Confidence arises when you connect with your deepest intentions and pursue it vehemently.
You cannot help but grow passionately towards something you enjoy. The better you become, the more confidence you will gain. This will flow into other areas of your life as well, so if you are confident in your career, this is likely to reflect in other life zones. Confidence means being content with your uncertainties and shortcomings. It involves working in partnership with these attributes but not allowing them to subdue you.
Here’s another idea to consider: to build lasting confidence, develop focus, commitment, and dedication. Find an unwavering commitment to see something through until the end. Those who give up halfway take a blow to their confidence because they reinforce a defeatist attitude. However, even if you fail yet see the task through to completion, you’ll grow confident knowing you’re moving closer to victory.
An Unwavering Commitment
“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.” — Norman Vincent Peale
Self-confidence proceeds from pursuing goals greater than yourself and maturing into them. Whilst you may or may not succeed, the personal growth that takes place is paramount to the person you will become. Ultimately, confidence appears as you inch closer to victory, rather than admit defeat. This is why it pays to develop a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset, according to Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck. She states: “A remarkable thing I’ve learned from my research is that in the growth mindset, you don’t always need confidence.”
I spoke earlier about the need to cultivate powerful self-talk. This is a catalyst for the confident person because they prime their subconscious mind to be on the lookout for success. Motivational speaker Tony Robbins believes success leaves clues. Referring to the fixed mindset, those who torment themselves because of previous failures focus on their faults instead of the lessons gained. This delays progress because attention is given to what is not working, which then becomes a person’s reference point.
Amazing confidence stems from knowing yourself beyond the superficial likes and dislikes. You understand aspects of your character and manage your weaknesses while exploiting your strengths. In Steven Covey’s acclaimed book, The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, two habits emerge as important to lasting confidence: Be Proactive and Put First Things First. The proactive person takes charge of their life. They are accountable for their actions and decide based on the outcomes, regardless of whether they are successful.
To Put First Things First, manage yourself to the best of your ability and concentrate on what is important. Prioritise your day-to-day activities in pursuit of your objectives with an unwavering commitment, notwithstanding impediments and roadblocks. Remember, “Confidence is the belief that no matter what happens, you’ll find a way,” writes author Larry Weidel. Confidence arises when you overcome your limitations. This requires conquering your fears so they don’t overpower you. What you give life to occupies importance in your mind. With that premise, I invite you to find the confidence to live a truly amazing life with a powerful state of mind.