Change And Self-Transformation
“I can affect change by transforming the only thing that I ever had control over in the first place and that is myself.” – Deepak Chopra
Self-transformation remains fundamental to the human condition. The ability to affect our life through change remains our greatest virtue. Yet, most people sail through life powerless to venture beyond their comfort zone. It is there they stay until circumstances compel them to take action. Consider the message by author Dean Jackson who writes in The Poetry of Oneness: “When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she has always been. But she had wings.” How about you? What is your relationship to change?
If we wish to transform ourselves and our life, it must be framed within the context to make the change sustainable. One must become curious how they intend their life to be while disregarding the negative aspects of the change. To focus on life’s denials reinforces them, thus change emerges for the wrong reasons. Let’s not sugarcoat it; change is hard. One need only refer to the change cycle to note self-transformation is a tumultuous landslide interspersed with detours, highs and lows. Yet, if approached with the right intention, a change in circumstances yields life-lasting benefits.
Many people resist change because it can be difficult and disruptive. Why disturb the status quo, they proclaim. Yet if we allow for change to occur, we make an inner shift to usher in the new, fresh and vital energy grounded in receptivity. Transformation, like the overused caterpillar analogy, coincides with a shift in awareness to shape our reality. I offer the following points to help influence change in your life. Undoubtedly, change and self-transformation must be approached to improve your life while accepting your current circumstances.
Leave Behind A Part Of Us
“Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true.” – Napoleon Hill
1. Own Your Situation
If we seek change, no one will make the shift until we decide to. We are the sole investor in the corporation called Our Life. To own your situation means taking responsibility for the life you create. If you are unhappy with your current circumstances, acknowledge your unhappiness, yet don’t believe reality is fixed. It is anything but fixed. As you shift from perpetuating a wounded mindset, your power to usher in change becomes clear. The wounded perpetuate a malicious cycle of self-torment; believing they are at the mercy of life. Owning your situation means empowering yourself to make changes congruent with an increase in personal power.
2. Accept Your Circumstances
Human suffering ensues when we resist what emerges. Your opposition to what is shows inner resistance and moves you into a disempowered state. Author Hale Dwoskin of the self-enquiry program The Sedona Method writes in his self-titled book: “That’s because the most powerful place to create what we choose is from the position that it’s “okay” whether or not we get it. This model applies to all areas of our lives.” Your life’s circumstances are perfect to shape your personal development, irrespective of whether you see it that way. The moment you accept your circumstances, self-transformation sets into motion.
3. Let Go of Resistance
Self-judgement and judgement of others keeps us stuck recycling the past into the present moment. Judgement is a toxic emotion because we concede to it and believe we are not in control. Past conditioning governs our actions, and limiting beliefs discourage positive change. We may be in a rut and unable to transform our life, owing to the distorted lens through which we perceive our circumstances. I touched on this idea in my earlier book The Power to Navigate Life where I wrote: “Judging yourself and others is too easy, since it shifts the blame from looking within and dealing with those parts we dislike. Those who remain Parked in life feel the need to label and judge others, believing the world is wrong and they are right.”
4. Honour Your Emotions
Are there circumstances which transpired long ago that you hold on to as pain or anger? Were you victimised, criticised, abused, or neglected? Investigate the negative feelings so you can take an honest look at them. Feel your feelings. Yes, that’s right, connect with the emotions but do not attach meaning to them. To acknowledge your feelings requires courage, especially if they have been stowed away for years. Don’t allow negative feelings to come between you and the remarkable future which awaits. Whilst it is daunting to deal with negative emotions, it pales into insignificance to the havoc wreaked if the emotions are neglected.
The power of the human will is unbending; it can bring opportunities into being once your resolve is firm. It was the British politician Benjamin Disraeli who declared: “Nothing can withstand the power of the human will if it is willing to stake its very existence to the extent of its purpose.” In transforming our lives, we leave behind a part of us to gain something more powerful; the wings to experience a renewed existence for whom we aspire to become.