Formulate Empowering Questions
“The New Year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.”—Melody Beattie.
So here we are at the start of a new year. It is normal to reflect on the previous year while looking ahead to what the new year has in store.
Most self-help articles and books advocate creating New Year’s resolutions based on goals you’d like to achieve. These goals represent accomplishments once considered unattainable. I’d like to propose a new approach to your New Year’s resolutions.
Rather than pursuing physical goals, I suggest you focus on self-improvement. Now you might think: “How will self-improvement lead to the fulfilment of my goals?” Self-improvement helps you achieve your goals by providing the tools and resources you need.
Most people focus on goals without a clear purpose and vision. The purpose of self-awareness is to realize and know oneself. In understanding oneself, you are guided to choose goals that resonate with your deepest self. Your deepest self knows what you want.
Regrettably, many people pursue goals that are not in alignment with their deepest desires. Once the goals are achieved, an empty void emerges, a pointless victory if you will. This emptiness may be attributed to the goal not being aligned with their deepest self.
In the following paragraphs, I will outline a roadmap for creating goals with personal development as the focal point. If you follow these suggestions, you will achieve your goals easily rather than struggle with them.
The first step to creating effective New Year’s resolutions is to formulate empowering questions. These questions stir the mind, so you contemplate your deepest wants and desires. Without these desires, your goals or resolutions are empty vessels appearing in physical form.
Self-Examination
“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.”—Abraham Lincoln.
For self-examination, you’ll need a notepad and some quiet time alone where you can be undisturbed. This process requires writing down thoughts and ideas that first come to mind. Don’t be too concerned with the correct answers.
The self-examination process is designed to ask the subconscious mind questions to uncover your deepest desires.
The four questions are:
- “What do I really want?”
- “Why do I want this goal?”
- “Who will I become when I achieve this goal?”
- “Will the pursuit of this goal be fun and inspiring?”
Write the questions on your notepad, allowing room to observe thoughts that come to mind. It is imperative that you don’t spend too much time ruminating on the thoughts that arise. Move quickly, noting any spontaneous thoughts that emerge.
Once you’ve completed the self-examination process, reflect on the answers you wrote. Reflection means sitting with them for a few days to see what arises. Self-examination awakens the subconscious mind like stirring water. You create ripples in the mind, allowing the creative force to reveal itself.
These ripples are like small dots on a canvas, and when viewed from afar, they come together to create your masterpiece. During self-examination, you are viewing the mind’s canvas up close. By allowing time to pass, you allow the parts of the canvas to take form.
Define the Goal
“Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it.”― Neil Gaiman
Once you’ve contemplated your answers, it’s now time to define your goals. You are one step closer to creating goals you are likely to achieve and enjoy pursuing.
Write down the goals you’d like to achieve this year. Be specific with the goals, such as: “Create more time for fun activities and enjoy a holiday vacation twice yearly to somewhere exotic.” Being specific in your goal statements allows the mind to stay clearly focused on achieving them.
The second part of defining the goal is called muscle testing, which determines whether the goal is congruent with your deepest self. I suggest searching for “kinesiology” online to learn how to muscle-test for creating empowering statements. It’s an easy process that takes less than a minute. By using muscle testing, your body will give you immediate feedback on whether the goal statements are true or false for you.
The purpose of this step is comparable to a radio frequency. You aim to tune into the correct frequency of your mind and its deepest desires. I suggest gaining a basic understanding of kinesiology to determine whether your goal statements are true or false.
Review and Refine
“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.”― Brad Paisley.
Once you’ve created and written your goals, keep them somewhere accessible so you can review them regularly. I’ve noticed that this process works well during the early part of the year. However, self-help gurus advise that to achieve your goals, you must review them twice daily. I don’t see this as practical, given the complexity of daily life. My advice is to review them as often as you feel compelled; frequency is paramount.
In following the steps outlined above, I’ve created goals or New Year’s resolutions that have been powerful and aligned with my true desires. The goals become attainable since they are a deeper expression of my inner being. Reviewing them often has been less of a chore and more of a stimulating process.
In summation, have fun mapping out your goals or New Year’s resolutions. Don’t be too stringent with your goals. It is worthwhile to follow the method outlined above and not deviate too much from it. By skipping any part, pursuing your goals may be akin to lighting a dim candle rather than an intense flame.
I hope you have fun with this and create goals that are both self-serving and empowering. Remember, the purpose of goal setting is to learn more about yourself, which is why personal development is fundamental to achieving your goals.
You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone
If something in this article spoke to you, it’s usually a sign there’s more to explore. I offer a 30-minute Complimentary Coaching Conversation to help you understand what’s going on beneath the surface and decide the most meaningful step forward with honesty, focus, and depth.
Tony Fahkry
Expert Life Coach
