Decide What Constitutes Success

“I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume, for every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” — Walt Whitman.

Jiddu Krishnamurti, one of the greatest thinkers and philosophers of our time, wrote: “The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. Self-knowledge has no end—you don’t come to an achievement, you don’t conclude. It is an endless river.” Do you think he was right when he said: Self-knowledge leads to clarity? What about you? What do you know about yourself now with greater clarity? It’s a reassuring quality to celebrate ourselves, since our reality is the embodiment of what we think. If we believe in our worthiness to achieve success, we will attract it because what we think and repeat must come to life.

Does this notion work for you? The changes that occur within you will manifest in your external reality, as your internal state influences how you perceive the world around you. I want you to understand this idea because it bears repeating, since everything that happens out there has been created within you first. I’m not talking about your desires handed to you on a silver platter since that would be unreasonable. I’m talking about what you hold in mind and repeat with conviction and emotion, which must show up in your life, assuming you are committed to the process. Success can encompass many things, whether it be health, wealth, relationships, or the simplest aspects of life. You decide what constitutes success, so it’s best to find your own definition and abide by it. Don’t be swayed by other people’s opinions because it will give you the impression that you are unsuccessful. Does it make you feel better knowing you needn’t compete against others to get what you want? Your only competition is you and getting out of your own way to ALLOW success into your life.

I’m drawn to the British psychologist and author Robert Holden who explains in Authentic Success how we can redefine success to encompass the journey to get there: “It is my experience that many people relate to success as something to celebrate at the end of their days, when they finally “get there.” All their energy is invested in a ticket that will get them to a land called “there.” But life isn’t just about “getting there”; it is also about “being here” and enjoying your journey.” Are you comfortable with this idea? I know I’m emphasizing the point, but I was hoping you could get a sense of what it means to create success on your own terms, not others. What we believe about ourselves is the foundation for how the world responds to us.

Thoughts are a powerful phenomenon, and many of us are unconscious of them because we ignore them or, conversely, believe the narrative they promote. Mainly because they pass through our stream of consciousness at a rate of 70,000–80,000 thoughts per day, it is no surprise that there are too many thoughts to know which ones are relevant. To celebrate ourselves, we ought to make peace with parts of ourselves we are at war with. Peace means reconciling negative or unconscious thoughts with our true selves. So, if you consider yourself an anxious person, you may disregard the possibility of being a peaceful person; you rule it out, so to speak.

The Wholeness Of Who You Really Are

“Go where you are celebrated—not tolerated. If they can’t see the real value of you, it’s time for a new start.” — Unknown. 

For instance, there’s a story about a baby elephant tethered by a rope to a stake in the ground. It turns out that as the elephant matures to full size, it remains chained to the stake, unable to break free. Even though it can escape, it remains captive due to conditioning from an early age. Whilst a fictional story, it correlates with our own story of how setbacks or failures limit our potential. To illustrate this idea, I know a relative who considers herself an anxious person and has trouble flying on planes. She believes her character is fixed and refuses to change. Yet, when asked if she’s tried meditation, mindfulness, or other forms of relaxation therapy, she dismisses them because she’s convinced her personality is static.

Expressed differently: our behavior is anything but determined. The science of epigenetics tells us our brains are constantly developing, depending on the stimuli they receive. Do you know people like this? No matter what you say, they’re convinced they won’t change or, to be more precise, they refuse to change. It isn’t easy to convince them otherwise. Embracing ourselves is foremost central to awakening our greatest potential. To celebrate ourselves means to accept both our negative and positive characteristics. Wholeness is a story about welcoming every part of you while realizing you are none of those things in isolation, but in their entirety. When combined, they make up the wholeness of who you really are.

Therefore, if you want the world to celebrate you, you will need to accept yourself unconditionally to find clarity. You become a greater version of yourself because if the thought is active within you, its potential to merge into the wholeness of your character will come to life. Celebration of oneself is a journey that comes from within and radiates outward. It is an endless river, as Jiddu Krishnamurti points out. To help you solidify this understanding, I invite you to answer the following questions in your diary, journal, or where you keep notes. Please take some time to reflect on your answers and edit them until you are satisfied. This exercise will help you find clarity in your relationship with success.

1. How do you celebrate yourself or your achievements?
2. What does success mean to you? What does it look like?
3. How will you know you are successful? What are the signs or metrics that determine your success?
4. Who will you become as a result of achieving success in any area of life? What are you willing to trade or give up to attain success?
5. What is stopping you from being successful? A shift in mindset? Resources? Lack of money, opportunities, etc?

So, what will you choose? Will you be a shining light others are drawn to, or will you withhold your greatness because you fear being found out? I trust that you choose what is in alignment with your core self.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

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Tony Fahkry

Expert Life Coach