It’s Not What Happens That Determines The Quality Of Your Life, But How You Respond To It

Why We Attract The Same Conditions

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ― Charles R. Swindoll

Everything that happens in our life reflects our inner state of being. It has to because no two people share the same lesson from their experience. Therefore, it underscores that what we think is externalised in our reality, whether we are conscious of it. Many people struggle with this idea and try to change outside circumstances to coincide with their inner state of being. For example, if we are unhappy being single, we will look for a partner. If the relationship falls short of our expectations, we might end it because it hasn’t fulfilled our needs. The same thing happens in other areas of life. We try desperately to change the world outside of us, to make us happy. But this is a recipe for disaster because the key to happiness is to reverse engineer the process.

We must first adjust our thoughts, then we will attract ideal conditions that match our inner vision. Can you identify with this? Have you experienced something similar? It’s a common situation because we are convinced the only way to attain happiness is to change outside conditions. Unfortunately, we cannot change reality and therefore can only control our inner state of being. Can you recall the child toy you played with called a Shape Sorter, where you had to fit a circle, triangle or square into its corresponding shape? The toy is useful for building children’s motor-skill patterns. Some children initially struggle to make a triangle fit into a square hole, but eventually work out the correct block.

I’m proposing we adopt a similar analogy and align our thoughts with our true desires, instead of trying to manipulate reality. Therefore, it’s not our circumstances that determine the quality of our life, but how we respond to it. We must find out why we are attracting the same conditions. For example, do you repeatedly attract the same negative experiences? It might be with your finances, health, relationships or career? I know it’s frustrating because there was a time I was attracting difficult experiences without knowing why. I was spinning my wheels and couldn’t see past my difficulties.

When I stopped trying to change external circumstances and accepted my problems, my life improved enormously. I accepted I was attracting undesirable circumstances and discovered why these patterns kept repeating. I processed my childhood wounds where anger, resentment and shame were operating and sabotaging my happiness. On a conscious level, I knew what I wanted my life to be, but my actions were not conforming to my innermost thoughts. There was a discrepancy in what I wanted and what was materialising in my life. So, I analysed my old beliefs that were creating my difficult experiences and adjusted them to correspond with a new reality.

You Are Not Powerless To Change Your Life

“It’s not what happens, it’s what you do that determines your future.” — Jim Rohn

I realise it might seem like a lot of hard work. But what’s the rush, if you keep repeating the same patterns and attracting negative circumstances? I surprised when people say: “It was meant to be” because what I’m hearing is resignation and apathy in their words. I’m hearing someone who is not in control of their life and feels powerless to change their circumstances. How we respond to our problems is based on our attitude. Our response is how we claim control over our circumstances, instead of allowing them to defeat us. Life is mirroring our innermost beliefs about reality. When people say life is good or bad, I disagree because life is impartial. It is a concealed mirror reflecting what we hold in our heart and mind.

Are you getting the sense that you have more power than you realise? Can you see by directing your thoughts, you shift your life in a different direction? You don’t have to keep recycling the same conditions. I’m assuming since you are reading this article, you are drawn to the message these words convey? I’m assuming you want to make changes, but you are scared or don’t know what steps to take? And that’s okay. It’s okay to be frightened and not know how to get out of your current circumstances; it means you will keep searching for answers. But don’t believe for a second you are powerless to change your life. It may seem that way from your current position because you are a focussed on the problem, not the solution.

So, here’s an exercise I invite to undertake, if you are serious about overcoming your current challenges. In a recent blog article by researcher and lecturer Dr Joe Dispenza titled Five Questions, he invites us to answer five questions regarding our current challenges. I completed the exercise recently on a current problem and found it valuable to look at my situation from a fresh perspective. Instead of dwelling on the problem, I could see how it was contributing to my personal growth. In fact, I came up with five advantages that the problem was contributing to my life. So, after you finish reading this article, take 10 or 15 minutes and complete the questions. See if you can find the hidden treasure contained within your current problem. Give yourself the gift of responding to your challenges differently. It is only when we step outside the box and see our problems from a new perspective that we will change our life completely.

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