Unleashing The Unpredictable: Letting Go Of Control
“By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond winning.” — Lao Tzu.
In the relentless pursuit of control, we often find ourselves entangled in the web of our meticulously crafted plans, grasping tightly at the illusion of certainty. However, hidden within the rigid confines of our desire for control lies a profound paradox—the more we strive to govern every aspect of our lives, the heavier the burden becomes. The inevitable truth is that life’s most breathtaking beauty unfolds not within the rigid structures of our plans but in the fortunate dance of unpredictability. It’s time to release the grip, embrace the unknown, and embark on a journey where the burden of control gives way to the awe-inspiring splendor of life’s untamed, unpredictable canvas.
The inherent unpredictability of life and the limitations of control are apparent. Yet, many people wrestle with the need to manage their circumstances, believing life would not unfold according to their desires. However, the consequences of clinging to control are stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction. The world operates by its independent rhythm, regardless of our desires or expectations. Over the coming paragraphs, I will demonstrate that by letting go of control and embracing the unknown, we can experience life’s unfolding beauty. There are many things in life that we cannot control, and they may impact us in different ways. For instance, we cannot control who will love us, let alone whether they stay committed to us. We cannot control whether we succumb to illness or are involved in a life-threatening accident. Constant forces played out in our lives are beyond our control. Even getting into our car to do the shopping is fraught with risks we don’t consider because we are accustomed to doing it.
The weight of control emerges from our inherent sense of responsibility to steer the circumstances of our lives. I’m not proposing a complete absence of control; instead, I underscore it as a delicate dance where certain facets are within our influence while others remain beyond our grasp. Attempting to micromanage aspects over which we possess limited or no control can result in heightened anxiety and, inevitably, the fear of failure. The issue arises from our tendency to construct mental models and hold onto rigid expectations for how life should evolve. Regrettably, this limits our ability to adapt and grow, particularly when conditions change and we resist them. It was evident during the Coronavirus pandemic when people struggled with being confined to their homes for long periods. They were unable to see their friends and loved ones. Their movements were restricted, and many people were forced to work from home instead of going to the office.
Surrender’s Power: Trusting Life’s Journey
“The moment you surrender to love and allow it to lead you to exactly where your soul wants to go, you will have no difficulty.” — Neale Donald Walsch.
So, what is the antidote to releasing control? It lies in the concept of surrender and its potential to liberate us from the burden of control. Let me clarify that surrender does not equate to apathy or resignation, although this is what most people associate it with. Surrender is associated with freedom and vulnerability because, in that space, we allow life to function in a way we cannot expect or anticipate. Letting go of the need for control enables the universe to do its job better than you imagine. Life has a long history of functioning independently of you and me. Life operates without human control or direction. Life will continue to function without us being here if we cease to exist tomorrow. Granted, we will be missed by those close to us, but beyond that, life does what it has done for millions of years. We add a burden on ourselves when we assume we are in command of our life and how it should be. It is because of the mental model I referred to earlier, which confines limitless possibilities unfolding. When our life doesn’t align with our expectations, we suffer, thinking it’s not going according to plan.
How can we release control and cultivate a sense of trust that life will do its job? It starts by evaluating your current situation and gradually relinquishing control. Therefore, choose an area of your life and describe the current state in your diary or journal as a practice. Explain how things currently stand regarding your finances, career, or relationships. You might observe how you dislike your current work situation and want a better job with improved pay. Now, choose something you are willing to surrender in this area. For example, you might surrender how the perfect career makes itself known to you instead of worrying about it. When we release our expectations of how life should be, the universe will conspire to bring people and circumstances into our lives in ways we could never imagine. It won’t happen until you let go and allow the greater intelligence to do its job. I’m not talking about New Age concepts or the Law of Attraction; instead, it’s about having faith in life to work in your favor.
Unveiling Beauty: Freedom And Fulfillment
“Life is a journey that must be traveled no matter how bad the roads and accommodations.” — Oliver Goldsmith.
Could you do it? Could you practice letting go of control and co-create your life’s circumstances with universal energy? It may not be easy, mainly if you are accustomed to controlling aspects of your life. I invite you to let go of as little as 1% control and observe how things play out through journaling. It is my experience, having coached hundreds of people over the years, that this practice works. It works beyond the human imagination and in ways we cannot anticipate. This practice works well; people surrender aspects of their lives and discover freedom and fulfillment in how life plays out. I’ve coached individuals who tried to control every part of their lives and were miserable, exhausted and stressed. With time, they surrendered control and experienced profound freedom and inner peace because their life unfolded better than expected.
It involves experiencing life with a “beginner’s mind” and being open to new experiences and opportunities. Joy and wonder arise when we relinquish control and allow the universe to unfold its plan through our lives. The deep enchantment, vitality, and spontaneous energy that emerge against the backdrop of our existence become obvious. We wonder why we didn’t surrender control previously instead of clutching to familiar and outdated patterns of how life should be. Life begins to take on a beauty we never thought possible. It is within our grasp to influence the conditions of our lives, commencing in the realm of our thoughts. By progressing incrementally and documenting our unfolding experiences, we wield the power to shape it.
In light of these insights, I urge you to embark on the surrender experiment outlined here and document your journey in your journal without delay. If you seek a guiding companion in this transformative practice, consider delving into Michael Singer’s renowned work, “The Surrender Experiment: My Journey Into Life’s Perfection.” As the acclaimed author of “The Untethered Soul,” Singer explains that surrender opens the door to a life of joy and harmony unencumbered by the need to control every facet. To unburden ourselves from the weight of control, we must release our grasp, allowing us to witness life’s unfolding beauty, surpassing even our wildest dreams.