From Struggle To Strength: Shifting Your Perspective
“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” — Walter Anderson.
Picture this scene: you’re on a beautiful beach vacation, the sun is warm on your skin, and the sound of the waves washes away all your worries. But then, reality hits, and you’re back in the daily grind, facing one problem after another. Does this cycle sound familiar? You’re not alone. Life can be filled with challenges, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But what if there was a way to navigate these struggles and find peace, even amidst the chaos? This article explores the idea that reclaiming your life isn’t about waiting for perfect circumstances but shifting your perspective and taking control of your response. We’ll delve into the psychology of pain and pleasure, how to reframe failure as a stepping stone, and the importance of pursuing passions that resonate with your true self. By the end, you’ll have a toolbox of strategies to help you weather life’s storms and find joy in the journey.
So, how can you avoid the pain of defeat and struggle? I recently discussed this topic with a coaching client who was lamenting their latest toils. They mentioned something during the conversation that etched itself into my mind. Given their financial struggles, they wanted to leave their unfulfilling job and pursue work that offered personal satisfaction. In other words, they wished for a better life without striving. They believed if success found its way into their life, they were powerless to appreciate it since they had become accustomed to being anxious about money for most of their life. They were victims of their pain, and living a purposeful life was an elusive dream. Have you experienced a similar situation? How did you turn it around, and what did you learn?
Pain Vs. Progress: Choosing Your Path To Fulfillment
“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.” — Anne Lamott.
Reclaiming your life is not about a change in circumstances as much as it is about shifting your internal focus. Embrace your inner power to shape your destiny, regardless of the challenges. The Freudian principle, known as the pain-pleasure principle, states that humans have an inner drive toward seeking pleasure or, conversely, running away from pain. This means you either attract opportunities that serve your highest potential or get stuck in a painful cycle of undesired outcomes. The downfall of the pain cycle can be seen in mice administered electric shock treatment in lab experiments. It is reported over time, they become addicted (habituated) to the pain, and a vicious circle ensues.
To reclaim your life, begin by being mindful of your thoughts and actions, for you alone direct the course of your destiny, not some outside force. I’m reminded of the quote by the American speaker Jim Rohn, who said: “The same wind blows on us all; the winds of disaster, opportunity, and change. Therefore, it is not the blowing of the wind, but the setting of the sails that will determine our direction in life.”
Failing Forward: Turning Setbacks Into Stepping Stones
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. It may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it.”—Maya Angelou.
Equally, leadership experts refer to reframing failure as the key to success. Early in my career, I recall failure’s devastating effect on my character. However, having experienced several failures, I let go of attaching failure to my self-worth. The moment I stopped considering it a negative outcome, it had little power over me. Therefore, viewing failure as an opportunity to advance your goals is crucial. It helps you improve and iterate each time you are unsuccessful. Apple and many leading companies have known this for decades and use it to improve their product designs and services, and so should you.
Expressed differently: avoid attaching failure to your self-esteem, as it will derail your progress. Instead, transform your frustrations and fears into passion and enthusiasm. Enthusiastic people enjoy their journey and seldom focus on outcomes alone. If you love and do what you love, the journey can be more rewarding than the outcome. Moreover, pursuing interests that resonate with your deepest self is important. Everything else becomes insignificant when you know what is essential to you. Many people focus on trivial matters while neglecting the bigger picture. They trust that by trying their hand at many things, this strategy will return a favorable outcome. I liken it to painting a masterpiece by throwing paint at a canvas, expecting it to materialize as a Rembrandt. While I am being facetious, we should be purposeful and intentional in our actions. Imagine you could dedicate more time and energy to something you’re passionate about. What would that look like for you?
As we discussed, life throws curveballs, but you can choose how you react. Instead of feeling like a victim of circumstance, remember Jim Rohn’s quote: “The same wind blows on us all, the winds of disaster, opportunity, and change. Therefore, it is not the blowing of the wind but the setting of the sails that will determine our direction in life.” You are the captain of your ship, and while you can’t control the winds, you can adjust your sails to navigate the seas. Embrace the challenges, reframe failures as learning experiences, and passionately pursue your passions. Don’t let life pass you by; take charge of your choices and find peace within yourself. As Brené Brown reminds us, “We are most dangerous to ourselves and the people around us when we feel powerless.” Recognizing your inner strength can create a life filled with purpose and fulfillment, even amidst the inevitable struggles. So, set sail, embrace the journey, and reclaim your life!
