“…Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is… The only problem in your life is your mind’s resistance to life as it unfolds.” – Dan Millman
Let Go of Suffering
Resistance is a stone wall which overshadows our best intentions to thrive and prosper. We resist how life should unfold, since we are caught up in a mental and emotional battle to make sense of reality.
What if I told you there’s another way? What if you did not have to suffer when life does not go according to plan? What if instead of waging battle against the currents of life, you simply went along with it? Allow me to expand on these statements in some detail.
In his book When Everything Changes, Change Everything, author Neale Donald Walsch offers us the wisdom that life is our soul’s calling towards its own self-discovery. Those untoward events serve not to punish us, yet to reveal our deepest wisdom.
To the inexperienced mind, a speeding ticket or a relationship breakup may be perceived as an unfortunate event. To the awakened mind it is a call to unlock your greatest potential, longing to be discovered. You did not come here to live a mundane life fuelled with troubles. You have choice, power and freedom to choose how you respond to life. Granted, we have very little control how the forces of life act upon us. Yet we have control in how we respond to those events which shape our life.
Your awareness towards unwelcomed circumstances continues to persist until you have acquired the lesson or changed your internal response to it. It was Dr Wayne Dyer who said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at, begin to change.” There is power in choosing ones reaction to life, rather than becoming a victim to it. As you know, victims never heal.
“What you RESIST, PERSISTS. If you take ownership and deal with things that are bothering you, then, in the very process of dealing with them they very often will go away.” – Anonymous
The Observer Effect
You’ve no doubt heard the passage that a watched pot never boils. Derived from a quantum physics phenomenon called the Observer Effect, put simply it refers to changes that the act of observing will make on a phenomenon being observed. In quantum mechanics an electron changes it location once it is observed.
Translated into layman’s terms when we observe something undesirable, at a quantum level the unfavourable event continues to manifest due to our observation of it. The act of observing disallows electrons to move freely, thus impeding universal intelligence to flow freely.
The universe is not vested in actions which are deemed good or bad. If you receive a speeding ticket for reckless driving and are troubled by it, merely changing your perception and behaviour is enough to warrant a shift in circumstances – nothing radical about this idea. Another useful analogy demonstrating the Observer Effect states that if a trees falls in the forest, does it make a sound? If there is a person standing by watching the tree fall then yes, since it is registered by his or her nervous system.
Drawing on the previous examples it is my intention to make clear that the act of observing is a powerful phenomenon bound by the laws of physics. Spirituality takes it a step further suggesting that when you are attached to an outcome, it impedes the creative process. Detachment then should be a spiritual goal for every individual. Detachment of course refers to not having an expected outcome of how an event or circumstance should unfold. This is the domain of universal intelligence.
Speaker Byron Katie, the creator of the powerful self-discovery program, The Work offers her insight that reality always trumps our inner state. You cannot alter or change reality once it shows up. So if your husband forgets to take out the garbage every week despite your fervent reminders, reality would have you know that this is just the way it is. Developing anger toward your husband is less likely to change his behaviour since you are the one who suffers. Changing your thoughts however allows you to let go of your resistance to WHAT IS and thus allow WHAT COULD BE to evolve.
As you offer resistance you invite more of the same energy in to your life. When you face the experience, you allow it to move through you like an empty cloud. In time you will come to appreciate that any thought or emotion does not have power over you.
Often, experiences will continue to repeat themselves until you have mastered the lesson, since life favours your personal evolution. It can only do so by challenging you with circumstances which are beyond your comfort zone – thus allowing expansion of consciousness.
I’ve mentioned this in a previous article about the power of letting go. Give up your need to resist life by allowing it to move THROUGH YOU. Life does not need to happen TO YOU. Suspend judgement toward labelling experiences as good or bad until you have a complete picture. There is always a hidden lesson contained within an experience – even the most challenging ones.
Dealing with discomfort and pain may be confronting, although life is cyclical and everything must come to an end; even pain. Therefore instead of running away from your emotions, lean into them by experiencing them fully. This in itself will transform your fear, anxiety or anger. Let go of what you believe life owes you and step into your challenges. Rise to them armed with courage and persistence. Maintain confidence that you have been presented with an experience from which to personally evolve.
You are never judged by the universe or whatever force you choose to believe in or don’t believe in. You are merely invited to honour the process of life, since everything which unfolds does so in perfect timing and order.