How To Gain Clarity On What Matters Most

Published on: September 28, 2015

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Living Your Truth May Oppose Others

“Nothing ever becomes real until it is experienced.” – John Keats

The philosopher Søren Kierkegaard said that life is not a problem to be solved; it’s a mystery to be experienced. Contained within that message lies a conceivable reality if we are willing to embrace it. The principle underlying most self-help guidance is to surrender control of how circumstances will play out. The need to influence conditions is an illusion since we have limited power afterall. What if underneath our desire for control lies the need for safety? For example, it’s widely believed that what we want and what we need are distinctly opposed. Upon closer examination, we realise our desires are obscured by past conditioning to maintain a sense of security. Yet open any news bulletin and you’ll see how little control we have within the natural order of events.

According to the Australian clinical neuropsychologist Dr. Roy Sugarman, he states that through the neuroscience of freewill, it takes 300ms to evoke a response from your nervous system, demonstrating the updating of working memory. At 500ms we are thinking about what we saw for the first time. In the context of free will, our mind is one step ahead of our nervous system before we intend to act. So what does this mean when gaining clarity on what matters most? The mind is notorious for pulling us in different directions. To pierce the essence of our existence, we must surrender our self-fabricated story and allow the truth to emerge, beneath the rubble of misperception. Yet, for many to discard their long-held beliefs is painful as throwing money down the drain. Does this make sense to you, insofar as the forces acting upon us are greater than our will?

To gain clarity on what matters most, we must connect with our soul nature which knows the best path to take and uncover our truth along the way. Dr. David Hawkins spoke of finding one’s truth and living it as best we can. Living our truth may oppose others and even annoy them. Yet to support a distorted view of reality because it supplicates to their needs is deleterious to our human potential. I find it helpful to re-examine my purpose when I am pulled in different directions. Do I want to pursue my deepest desires or be at the mercy of others while living an inauthentic life? Ultimately, I want to live my calling, my purpose and truth as much as life will allow me. This does not mean I won’t encounter situations to test my resolve. Knowing life is a mystery to be experienced, I trust as long as I take daily action, I am moving in the right direction. How about you? How do you gain clarity on what matters most to you?

Find Your Own North Star

“Open your mind, allow your feelings to be expressed, to be pushed out, and your heart will neither break nor burst, but be a free-flowing channel of the life energy in your soul.” – Neale Donald Walsch

It’s clear that life offers us no assurances. Therefore, we gain clarity when we direct our attention on what matters most instead of waiting for outside conditions to determine our future. Many people believe life is imposed upon them instead of lived through them. This subjective view of reality diminishes their personal power. Life invites us to take proper action and matches it with the right opportunities as long as we keep moving forward. The Determinist view states that life functions within the container of a self-organising system. Experience and wisdom has taught me to stay attentive to the signs and symbols which play out in my life. These signs lead me to connect with my inner wisdom and correct my course if I veer off direction. How will I know when I veer off course? My actions become mechanical and devoid of inspiration. I find myself stuck instead of Navigating my life’s purpose. Problems arise because the same mind that creates the problems, is not the same mind which solves them. To discover what matters most means to live the questions we put forth. What you believe was once important, is an incomplete perception of reality pulling you in a direction not of your choosing.

You can be pulled by your troubles or you can lead with your solutions. The latter invites you to find your own North Star as author Martha Beck calls us to discover. To have life imposed upon us prevents us living an authentic life. Our authenticity is the one true freedom awarded us at the moment of conception. It is a carte blanche with no conditions other than we embrace it wholeheartedly. I enjoy psychotherapist David Richo’s perspective in his book, The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them where he writes: “You can learn to trust that there is a sane, wise, and nurturant resource within you. In fact, the more you know what you really want, the less desperately you need it. This happens because your self-esteem, confidence, and clarity grow.” It is with that knowing we arrive full circle to Søren Kierkegaard’s sentiments to embrace the mysteries of life through experience. Only then can we gain clarity on what matters most amid the pursuit of excellence.

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