How To Find Joy When Life Hurts The Most

Published on: September 21, 2015

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Change The Way You Look At Things

“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.”  — Joseph Campbell

If you ask any person whether they want to wake up joyful every morning, I’m certain they would reply with a resounding yes. Happiness is a key desire, yet many people are unhappy to the degree that joy eludes them. In fact, most people wake up miserable and are not excited about the day ahead of them. How about you? Are you excited about seizing the day or do you dread the day-to-day grind? I don’t want to offer a bleak picture, yet tune in to any media story and you’ll realise people are attracted to bad news. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), one in four people, on average, will experience depression at some stage of their life. This number is alarming. Many more are unhappy to the point they wake up apathetic, sad, and dissatisfied with life. This is not how it should be. You are not born to live out your days depressed or sad. Happiness should not be elusive. Would you agree there is more to life than being sad or fearful about the future or what lays ahead?

It is possible to experience joy and be happy, irrespective of your past or current situation. You have choices, and how you respond to your circumstances determines your level of happiness. It was the late American motivational author Dr Wayne Dyer who said: “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Whilst you may not feel rapture every day, you can attain joyfulness and contentment by choosing to do so. Ask those who experience happiness why they feel exuberance and you’ll get a variety of responses. Yet, they all agree their path to joy was borne out of painful circumstances. Many encountered dark periods in which they dug deep into their core to find joy. The journey into the Dark Night of The Soul compels people to discover an eternal river of joy once they overcome their resistance. Mental and emotional blocks such as negativity, pride, materialism, greed, fear and anger overshadow our spiritual essence.

I recall the story of a friend who lost their child in a terrifying house fire some years ago. The pain they suffered because of their loss engulfed the family with unending grief. They were devastated and experienced intense anguish and emptiness. Their dreams were shattered and negative emotions soon filled their lives. They could have stayed in their dark place, overwhelmed by the crushing sorrow. Many people remain in dark places for long periods. They may not have the emotional resilience to escape the pain or are weakened to make the effort. Yet, this couple dug deep within their core, knowing if they did not attend to their wellbeing, they would cease to exist. Therapy arrived at the right time to help them conquer their anger and sadness. In time, they shared their story with others and, in doing so, healed and renewed their life.

You Needn’t Stay Stuck In Pain

“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.” — Jim Rohn

Have you experienced a painful situation in your life? How did you make it through? What lessons have you learned since then? Painful experiences cause people to re-evaluate circumstances they wouldn’t normally if things are going well. You’ve no doubt heard people discuss how undergoing a tough period opened their eyes to valuable truths they might have missed otherwise. It is easy to get bogged down with work, family commitments and further obligations. The routine and fast pace of life puts the brakes on pursuing activities we enjoy. Responsibilities and expectations lead us to a dark place and when we least expect it, depression consumes us in little time.

Pain in life is inevitable, but you needn’t stay stuck in pain. Allow it to do its work and push you to rise above it. The human spirit is resilient and capable of overcoming life’s trials when put to the test. Water finds its own level and so can you. If you are struggling with pain and sadness, take time off to connect with your pain. If you believe in a higher power, call for insights and strength to overcome your struggle. Read inspirational books about people who have overcome their pain and suffering or join an online support group. Having others to support us helps us overcome adversity by sharing our sadness and grief. You needn’t go through it alone. Life is precious and to live it joyfully is a great blessing. The path to joy comprises pain, though the essence of your pain involves getting through it to experience abundant joy. At your core, you are peace and joy. Sense it. Embrace it. Live it. Be one with it.

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