Reflections of Ourselves
“Never idealise others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyse your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.” — Leo F. Buscaglia
Relationships are the most significant and nourishing experiences of our lives, if we consider them with an open mind and a compassionate heart. Take a moment to reflect on an existing relationship which may cause you distress. Although you share a bond, there may be a differing of opinions which warrants disagreement. What particular aspect of that person gives rise to the conflict? Is it a behaviour, a certain quality or a general character flaw you find difficult to balance out? Don’t over-analyse it but notice your thoughts about it. Merely perceiving the other person’s indifference is enough to enhance your awareness of the issue. Why do you have an aversion to that quality about them?
Let us consider the characteristic of arrogance as an example to work through. From your perspective, the other person may convey an arrogance which you find less appealing. You feel the relationship would be more grounded if it weren’t for their conceited ways. In earlier articles, I stated that the universe maintains an intricate order. There are no accidents, nothing happens by chance; even a blade of grass is accounted for within the cosmos. If we consider this idea, could it be conceivable that you co-created the experience of this person in your life to learn something valuable about yourself? Perhaps this person reflects an aspect of you that requires healing and integration? It takes two people to maintain a relationship, so problems are encountered at the level of the perceiver. This person may be disguised as a valuable experience directing your personal development. However, we may not be ready for the lesson yet and so the troublesome experience will continue to persist.
We cannot maintain a relationship that is one-sided. There can never be an over-supply of enriching moments within a relationship, since there would be little or no growth. Relationship challenges expose the cracks in our character to integrate them into the wholeness of our being. As you know, those you are connected to bring out the best and worst in you. They uncover your flaws by reflecting a mirror on them. In doing so, you are invited to examine and heal that aspect of yourself, not retreat into apathy. Therefore, we mustn’t bemoan when a relationship has run its course. There is an energetic current which takes place in all living things. Often people come into our life for a brief duration and leave similarly. We may wonder whether our actions contributed to their departure. Rest assured, the experience has served its purpose, and it is time to move on.
Tuning In To Love
“Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.” – Mike Murdock
When a relationship ends unexpectedly, we can take refuge in a simple mantra: “How would love respond in this situation?” We must raise our consciousness to the level of love to attract harmonious relationships. When I talk about love, I am not referring to the romantic connection which exists between two people. I am describing the energetic frequency that is our authentic state of being. Were it not for love, how would we express our appreciation toward a loved one? As we align with the frequency of love, we invoke deeper and richer relationships of a higher energetic force. Everything within the universe is energy, pulsating at a low or high vibrational rate.
To gain clarity on an existing relationship that may be challenging, contemplate the following points:
1. Invite the power of love with its higher frequency into your life regularly. Albert Einstein said: “You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it.” In a similar tone, Deepak Chopra asserts that love is stronger than gravity. Therefore, expand your consciousness beyond your perceived awareness to support this powerful state of being.
2. Consider what lesson you are invited to learn in your current relationship. Asking yourself: “What lesson does the greater intelligence within me seek from this experience?” becomes an invitation to connect with your infinite wisdom. Every lesson will be vested in love. Your conflicts are signposts directing you toward love.
3. “What aspect of myself, whether favourable or undesirable is the other person highlighting?” reaffirms the importance of self-enquiry. If the other person is an emotional blanket, devoid of their feelings, consider how you might mirror their behaviour?
When others highlight a negative quality within us, in that instance we disown that aspect if we are not at peace with ourselves. This becomes the root of our suffering if the pain is left unexamined. Furthermore, it underscores the need to heal the separation within to build a stronger foundation for the connection to thrive. Relationship problems are not intended to defeat us, rather they are a call to heal a disowned aspect of ourselves by bringing the wound to the surface. Consider it akin to a splinter of wood lodged in our finger. By removing the splinter, not only do we heal the physical wound, we reveal a layer of oneself previously concealed by our emotional pain.