How To Embrace Your Imperfections And See Yourself Through The Eyes Of Love

Published on: January 21, 2018

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Thanks for sharing!

See Yourself Through The Eyes Of Love

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” — Brené Brown

Despite your thoughts about your self-worth, you are perfect just the way you are.

If you only knew how the universe sees you, it would renew your self-confidence. You are born with perfect genes and a mind and body that defies what man is capable of engineering.

Your role is to embrace the wholeness of your being and see yourself through the eyes of love. I’ve experienced a glimpse of what this feels like through meditation. To say it was pure bliss would be to describe paradise to a blind person.

The happiness and fulfilment you search for lies within you and seeks you as much as you seek it. It is the research professor Brené Brown who states in Rising Strong: “Many of us will spend our entire lives trying to slog through the shame swampland to get to a place where we can give ourselves permission to both be imperfect and to believe we are enough.”

There Are No Make Mistakes

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ― Mark Twain

How is it possible that an intelligence responsible for the sun rising each day, birds flying in unison and the beating of your heart, be anything less than perfect? Many people fail to consider the miracle of these occurrences because they take them for granted. Yet, children appreciate life is a miracle to them.

There’s beauty in the unknown to children as evident in the passage looking through a child’s eyes. For example, my young nephew delights in discovering insects in the garden like most children do. He never ceases to tire of it and describes them in great detail to others. He once asked his mother how the different insects know their role within Mother Nature. Who tells the bees to pollinate a flower without other insects competing for the task? Children recognise miracles because they are innocent enough to expect them.

To appreciate something greater means to recognise the same intelligence is at work in your own life. Our minds are not equipped to fully grasp the mystery which takes place in our lives, and yet we complain when it doesn’t work as planned.

I am drawn to psychotherapist Loch Kelly’s perspective in Shift into Freedom: The Science and Practice of Open-Hearted Awareness where he writes: “We are all imperfect. That is not going to change, but neither is the fact that we can realize who we are is already unconditional love itself.”

For example, recall the last time you thought of someone and bumped into them later that day? Such events are normal occurrences for me nowadays. Call it what you will: chance, luck, coincidence, fate or synchronicity, they all play a role in our lives if you are open to them.

Love is a universal mystery. How do you measure love? Sure, you might recite the chemical reactions that takes place between two people in love, but where does love reside? Is it in the human heart or within the realm of consciousness? Why has science yet to prove it?

The point worth making is, you are made in the image of a greater intelligence and there can be no mistake of your worthiness and perfection.

Embrace Your Own Perfection

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” ― Lao Tzu

Do you embrace your perfections or find fault in physical aspects of your body? Self-acceptance means to acknowledge who you are, not who you should be. People get confused with this term because they believe it means accepting your faults. It is not that at all.

Self-acceptance means to accept yourself knowing you are constantly evolving. Yet, if you struggle with this idea, how will you accept yourself when you become more?

Some people are never satisfied with themselves since there is always something to gain, be do or have. This creates emptiness within because you are like a checkout operator, processing transactions instead of delighting in what you have.

Donald Altman writes in Clearing Emotional Clutter: Mindfulness Practices for Letting Go of What’s Blocking Your Fulfilment and Transformation: “Self-acceptance changes the rules of the game by ending the ego’s constant war over what is good and bad in us, what is beautiful and ugly in us, and what is okay to let in and what is not.”

“Acceptance doesn’t seek to define us by a particular behaviour. With self-acceptance, we invite in our whole self, both the unlikable and the lovable parts. We take a more gentle and diplomatic stance toward ourselves, our goals, our limitations, our vulnerabilities, and so on.”

How can you develop a better relationship with your imperfections?

Are you willing to consider your flaws through a different lens?

No one is perfect, so it makes sense to accept yourself, since you are a work in progress and your job will never be done while you are alive.

See The Perfection In Others

“It is not worth the while to let our imperfections disturb us always.” ― Henry David Thoreau

Do you see the beauty in others or find faults in their appearance, intelligence, upbringing or status?

We should notice the goodness in others rather than perceive their flaws. If someone is different to you, try to look for favourable qualities in that person. There’s always an opportunity to appreciate something in others, even if you need to look harder. Remember, what you recognise in others is apparent in you.

The definition of the Hindu word Namaste translates to: I bow to the divine in you that I see in myself. In other words, the perfection in others is also alive in you. By acknowledging it, you embrace your own perfection.

“When human interactions become a way of practicing self-acceptance by treating others with more patience, kindness, and respect, a constant need to be heard shifts into listening as an act of love,” writes author Matt Kahn in Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins with You.

See the beauty in others and instead of judging them consider seeing them via the thought: “That person is interesting.” Try it out (whether today or tomorrow) and note how you feel by the end of the day.

I’ve asked my coaching clients to practice this exercise and they report how peaceful they feel. Judging and criticising is hard work and requires mental effort. Moreover, our minds are accustomed to this way of thinking due to an inherent negativity bias.

Notice others without judging them and you will undoubtedly feel better and more peaceful.

You are perfect just the way you are and through your acceptance of it, you allow the same consciousness to develop through you. It is not conceited to regard yourself in high esteem. It is only arrogant when you think you are better than others.

Therefore, embrace the wholeness of your being and allow your inner radiance to shine. And as you do, you will allow others to do the same.





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2 Responses to How To Embrace Your Imperfections And See Yourself Through The Eyes Of Love

  1. Nate says:

    Hello Tony,
    Thank you the article.
    I do have a question.
    You mentioned meditation. Do you do that often?
    I have been studying this type of information for many years now, which has greatly helped me to find a certain level of calmness and peace in my life. For some reason I resist meditation.
    I do live a sort of informal meditation all through the day. Always aware, always present. Calm. At peace. When things go awry I stop and reflect and step back into it.
    Your mentioned bliss, if only for an instant.
    Why just an instant?
    Can you not experience that more often?
    I have heard of another who spoke of the same experience. A glimpse, an instant.

    Can you elaborate?

    Thank you very much for you efforts. I always look forward to your emails.

    • “You mentioned meditation. Do you do that often?”

      Yes I meditate daily where I can but sometimes that is not possible for any number of reasons. However, I try to keep it a daily habit.

      “I have been studying this type of information for many years now, which has greatly helped me to find a certain level of calmness and peace in my life. For some reason I resist meditation. ”

      That’s ok, there’s no right or wrong way. There’s a saying: “There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same.” Meaning, we each have a different path that leads us where it needs to.

      “I do live a sort of informal meditation all through the day. Always aware, always present. Calm. At peace. When things go awry I stop and reflect and step back into it.”

      Sounds like you are on a wonderful path. Self-reflection and self-examination are the key. That’s why journaling works well too.

      “Your mentioned bliss, if only for an instant.
      Why just an instant?”

      That was the length of time I experienced it for. It may last longer, I don’t know. Perhaps I will in the future, perhaps I won’t. I’m not attached to it. I let the experience come and go. Other more experienced meditators (20+ years’ experience) may experience this state more often. Detachment is the key.

      “Can you not experience that more often?”

      As I mentioned earlier, I’m not sure. I can’t explain it. I once had a zig zag flashing light in the left of my eye that lasted 15 minutes. I was later told by an ophthalmologist that it was an ocular migraine. Apparently, some people experience one episode in their lifetime while others more. The point worth emphasising is that some experiences come and go, the key is not to be attached to the experience but allow it to move through you. A more experienced meditator would be able to answer your question.

      “Can you elaborate?”

      As another example, once I was meditating and experienced a brief moment where no thoughts were running through my mind. It felt like a flash and I recall being scared and then I created a thought or awareness created a thought and it felt better (safer). The thought validated my existence. In that brief moment without a thought, it was as though I didn’t exist. I can’t even say it was a snapshot into enlightenment because it has never happened again.

      I hope that answers your questions Nate.

      All the best,


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